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I come from a small town, enjoy laughing and being the weird one to help others smile. We should hang out sometime.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

God be with you

  1. God be with you till we meet again,
    By His counsels guide, uphold you,
    With His sheep securely fold you,
    God be with you till we meet again.
    • Refrain:
      Till we meet, till we meet,
      Till we meet at Jesus’ feet;
      Till we meet, till we meet,
      God be with you till we meet again.
  2. God be with you till we meet again,
    ’Neath His wings securely hide you,
    Daily manna still provide you,
    God be with you till we meet again.
  3. God be with you till we meet again,
    When life’s perils thick confound you,
    Put His arms unfailing round you,
    God be with you till we meet again.
  4. God be with you till we meet again,
    Keep love’s banner floating o’er you,
    Smite death’s threat’ning wave before you,
    God be with you till we meet again.

 Aloha oe, aloha oe, 
ikeona ona noho ikalipo
One fond embrace,
ahoe'ea a,
Until we meet again.  Aloha oe, aloha oe,              I miss you so much. My heart has a big sad face :'(
ikeona ona noho ikalipo
A smiling face
ahoe'ea a,
Until we meet again.

 Right now, I am crying. I cry tears of joy for knowing so many beautiful people that I get to leave behind. You all make me so happy, and I hope that we can be even better friends when I find my way home again. Don't be too annoyed if my name pops up on your phone on Sundays and assorted nights... because I am sure I'm going to miss you all so much. 

Aren't hugs simply amazing? With one hug you can say, oh-my-goodness-I-don't-want-to-let-you-go-you-should-talk-to-me-when-you-can-and-you-have-to-come-back-to-me-or-I'll-cry-a-lot-be-safe-while-you're-gone-or-I-will-kill-you. And I've been getting such wonderful hugs these past days. And these wonderful hugs will last me several months. 

All of you have to survive these months without me. I'm taking my Zombie Survival Guide with me so I'm set. Though if there IS an outbreak of Solanum, I'm sure I'll make it, but I worry about all of you people dear to my....BRAAAAIIINNNSSSS!! Weirdness aside, you are awesome sauce incarnate. If I had to decide between a lifetime supply of Nagiri and you, I'd choose you (Pikachu).
"It's like bubble wrap in my mouth!" - Bourne Phillips (Eating Tobiko Nagiri [flying fish eggs on rice and wrapped in seaweed])
"How do you get groin pains in your calves?" - Hamish Sharik (I meant growing pains)

"BE A MAN!" - Bourne Phillips (my secret to beating guys in bowling)
                     I LOVE YOU!!!!
You should text me... or call me... or just love me... a lot. I will have limited time to respond and may not even have cell service for the majority of several months. I will try and catch up on calls and such come Sundays and every other Friday.
P.S. If you are feeling lonely and want to hear a big, manly voice, my voicemail should satisfy you. Not to mention you'll probably smile and be incredulous that I can talk that low....

She smiled as she looked at the flower.... It was such a tender smile, and so happy, I decided right then that I wanted to make her smile like that again and again and that I wanted to look at that smile until the day I died.

Some days life is average. On others, life is grotesquely PHAN-AMAZINGLY-TASMA-AWESOME-GORICAL ❢ ❢ ❢

These past few days, have been mostly the latter. You think I am lying? Well let me delineate, whilst you reconsider your thoughts that I prevaricate. 


  • I hung out (repeatedly) with a Marine that was back for a few short days.
  • Outgunned said Marine at Nickel City.
  • Have eaten around seven chicken chimichangas 
  • Had a running man-date
  • Ran through sprinklers. Shirtless. 
  •  Ran through a neighborhood where everyone was out doing service (including Marcus Rittmanic)
  • Saw a large chunk of space trash burning in the atmosphere
  • Explored Orem
  • Saw the band one last time
  • Interrupted Honors Japanese one last time
  • Catered at Timpview one last time
  • Hugged people dear to me
  • Smiled on the inside
  • Swam at midnight
  • Played H-O-R-S-E while swimming

I am absolutely sure I left out a sizable chunk of things that made me so happy this past week. If I spent the time I should describing it all, you wouldn't read it all.


I feel my life ticking away. 


The sands of time escaping my hands. 

But everything will be fine.

 I've got my older brother and Father who have planned everything out for me. Why? They love me. It really is a comfort to know that they will always accept me for me. Oh, and that job I happened to be accepted to? Well the money I will earn will be just enough to pay for two years of me going and spreading the light of the gospel throughout the world. Coincidence? I think not. The fact that any doubts I had were dispelled yesterday? Another definite sign there is a plan to my life that I can learn to live by listening to a certain still, small voice.

Oh, and then there are all these amazing people in my life. People I can vent to, people that make me smile, people that actually massage me for a change. They are so stupendous. I really wish I could give a description that would give any one of them justice. Imagine a seriously beautiful person, then stick in a ludicrous mind, and a dazzling smile. Now you have a glimpse what any one of my friends is.

At the time of this post... I have approximately 28 hours before I leave to the desert (though I won't ride through it on a horse with no name) and out of your lives for an age. I don't mind for quite a few reasons, but the top one I will describe right now is... my day today. Several hours of service to start it off right. Then not so random wanderings with two friends. Same two friends accompanied me to bowling, fudge, and they also helped me throw parachuter men off the area underneath the BYU Clock Tower. Oh, and then I went back to cleaning... but then I forgot to give a present to somebody.... and I gave it while the the sun was setting behind them. It looked a bit like this, but it was even more pulchritudinous.

I ran home. What next? I was the gay/straight-best-girl/guy friend and went and got a pedicure with this marvelous girl I know. We also happened to go and get some pretty dang great food at the Spice Grill on University. This place has been one of the few restaurants to give me a spicy heat that makes my nose run. 


    Sunday, September 18, 2011

    God gave me you. 

    Yes. You.

    Not  EWE.....

    Not U.....

    YOU, my friend.

    I am SOOOO blessed to have so many amazing people care for me.  It stuns me all the time. You all mean so much to me. Like right now I'm on the edge of tears knowing that after Tuesday next week it'll be months before I see your smiling face. Pretty pitiful huh?
    In the words of Christine, who is from the Phantom of the Opera, 

    "Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me once in awhile, please promise me you'll try."

    I somewhat have a fear of all of you forgetting me while I leave these coming months, though I know I've scarred all of you too much. 

      You've got a friend in me. Other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am. Bigger and stronger to. (maybe...)But none of them will ever love you the way I do. Just me and you. 

    Saturday, September 17, 2011

    I love my life

    OH EM GEE!! I miss watching Powerpuff Girls....

    I like life
    Life likes me
    Life and
    I fairly fully agree
    Life is fine
    Life is good
    'Specially mine, which is just as it should be
    I like pouring the wine and why not?
    Life's a pleasure that
    I deny not

    I like life
    Here and now
    Life and
    I made a mutual vow
    I die
    Life and
    We'll both try to be better somehow
    And if life were a woman
    She would be my wife

    One day, I will be able to sing like this. Moving on....

    I like LOVE my life. Not too long ago I found myself so full of spite for the world. Then I took some time in my life to just think on and ponder the scriptures. Pondering led to revelations. Revelation led to action. Action led to happiness. (If you just imagined a short, green creature you win.[TGIT])

    I have such amazing people in my life. I am so glad I have been so richly blessed in friends. They all just do so much for me all the time, mostly they do it without knowing. I probably bore you with how much I talk about how great my friends are, but they really are that great and they mean so much to me. I'm pretty sure if I didn't have them I'd.... cry in a corner before becoming a super villain. Okay. You caught me. I'd just cry in corners a lot.

     See that over there? --->

    That's part of the reason my friends are so awesome. Not because they willingly would dress up as zombies, but that they feel comfortable doing it(or would if given the chance). I'm sure you are wondering why I have a picture of me all living-impaired.... well to be honest... it was for a birthday party. Yeah. Even more? The party was for a girl. Epic.

    DISCLAIMER:Photos were taken after hours and hours of partying and sweet running, so the makeup is much diminished.

    We all were turned into denizens of the undead by her mother, who happens to be a professional make-up artist for movies and such. Then we left for Nightmare on 13th in Salt Lake City. Did I mention we stopped at the Maverik by the University Mall? Well now I did, and the time in the gas station was awesome. At the haunted house, I actually was frightened out of my wits several times. They even had a train blast me in the face. I almost died from fright. It made my night. I'm pretty sure the people I was around hated me because I tended to scare them more than the house... Oh. I may or may not have slapped somebody across the face... We also got into a party. And that party was dead... like the attendants were dead, but the party was dead to. With sixteen in our group, this one photographer guy had a hey day taking pictures and making it seem like there were more people than there really was. Gotta love perception.
    So pretty much my time was over after the zombie birthday party? Wrong. I went running from Indian Hills down to BYU campus. Whenever I saw some people coming my way I quickly switched to my limp armed shamble, complete with moaning. It totally freaked out 75% of all zoobies encountered. Now I'm sure you are attempting to postulate as to my purpose, and I assure you I had a purpose. To visit my cousin. Now she, my cousin, is the one cousin of mine who is of an age with me and also one who I have met. She lives in Helaman Halls. I had no idea which dormitories were those so I had to stop and ask random people directions. They'll be talking about me for about a week I'm sure. Eventually I found my way to Hinckley Hall and my cousin. She wasn't really surprised, but when she explained I was her cousin, people who knew her just said it made sense. That was rather humorous. Basically I sat and chatted with her for about twenty minutes in the lobby of the Hall... getting random stares every second of it.

    That... that's a.... a... tumor! Yeah!! That's part of my zombie costume.

    Eventually I bade her good night and set off loping away. Now you have never seen me in my mile-devouring stride. I pretty much flow across the land as a wraith might. Where was I headed now? To the home of another friend. Why? They were partying it up as well. That's when I stood on a street corner (9th East and Center to be precise) and flaunted my undead limbs. I got picked up. (So I've noticed this weird pattern in my life. When I stand on a corner and stick my leg out seductive-like I get picked up by people and we have tons of fun) What's more? I got picked up by a man in a Kilt and boots. Oh yeah. With a German-made pimpmobile. Returning to his home I walked in. There, another one of my friends was having a psychological battle. She is morbidly afraid of the ambulatory deceased. She enjoys my company. But here I was, some familiar monster that may have eaten her. To make her battle better I plopped down on the couch next to her. Do you know what she did?  

    SHE TOOK OFF HER COWBOY BOOT AND BRANDISHED IT AT ME! Luckily, I calmly reached for an extremely crunchy salt and vinegar chip. Everybody else in the room was having a ball. They didn't have their greatest fear sitting next to them and they DEFINITELY did not have a woman aiming a cowboy boot at them. As it was getting to be close to one in the morning the girls all decided they had best be getting to sleep for work and such, so they all began filing out and saying goodbyes. I almost didn't get a hug from the friend. It resulted in a staredown and me saying,  

    "If you don't give me a hug I will definitely give you nightmares."

    She complied after about another minute. They all left and began getting into the pimpmobile. I decided it was time to stagger out there and terrify the friend. It was so frightening that I won't even attempt to report the incident. After the Scotsman returned, we watched Shaun of the Dead. What might we do after laughing that much? We got Mexican food of course.

    Ethnic food at three in the morning? Surely you must be kidding Zombie Man! No, no I was not. There is this delectable Mexican Restaurant named Comalitos. When you walk in, the prices may seem rather high, but they really aren't. What I got, a number sixteen. A chicken Chimichanga with rice and refried beans. $7.50. The Chicken chimi is always a foot long, and as thick as my fist. Oh, and I almost forgot. We were basically the setup for a joke. 

    A male nurse, a Scotsman, and a zombie walk into a Mexican restaurant....  

    I got home somewhere near four thirty. I didn't really pay attention. You know why? 



    Yes. Right as I walked in the door way I saw sushi and ate some, even before I bothered to turn on a light. Seaweed? Delicious. The fact that my twelve year old sister rolled it made it so much better. The only thing I really wanted that was not there: Eel Sauce. I rinsed off in the shower and did not even begin to tame my wildly back-combed hair. When did this not so little boy crawl into his comfortable bed? Five A.M. on the dot. 

    Oh look... make-up I missed...
       I LOVE MY LIFE!!! You make my life phantasmagorical. Thank you!!

    Tuesday, September 13, 2011

    Pesky Things

    Good thing we are in the present...

    You know what I'm talking about... those annoying little creatures flitting to and fro within your body. You know....


    It would be nice if they could decide what they really want to be. It would also be really nice if it were easier to describe or express them. But that, I think, would demean them. Getting to where you can fully show others what you feel means so much more. It's pretty difficult considering (at least for me) that there are so many different emotions with a score of shades to them all.

    Right now... I've got more than a few feelings flying throughout my being. Such as what? Apprehension, anxiety, and foreboding. Some others include frivolosity, twitterpaition, and a deep sense of longing. Now... if I took time to explain it all in a post, it would be far too long and I lack the time or the skill to describe them all in one sitting. Now if you REALLY want to know, you should probably do something with me because that would be awesome.
    I'm sure many have been guessing.... and most are probably wrong.... but I'm feeling two things about that person...

     I WOULD walk five-hundred miles... and I would walk five-hundred more. Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.  

    Please don't mind the first little bit... but this is the only one with the accompanying video.

    You're beautiful. You're beautiful it's true. I saw your face, in a crowded place and I don't know what to do. 'Cause I'll never be with you (well that's what it feels like right now...)

    I know I'll wait for you, but will you wait for me? Will I ever be brave enough to tell you?

    Sunday, September 11, 2011

    Making stalking me easy since 2010

    For once I'll cut to the good part. None of that random teasing you about how you are somewhat stalking my life or that there is something amazingly awesome that I'm going to post about. I'm not even going to mention whether or not I have amazing friends in this introductory paragraph because honestly, who even reads this?

     I have a friend. His name is Andrew Smith. This guy, he has been my best friend since kindergarten. Alas, the whirling eddies of life tore us apart three and a half years ago. Luckily enough, he is up here in Utah County for school. Just this past Wednesday, he and I met up and decided we were to hang out. First thing he said? Something along the lines of, "It's been too long man!" About two minutes later? "Dang your voice got deep!" Well... yes.... that happens to some of us. (which makes me really wonder if my voice is all that deep. I mean I know I have a far better range than most my peers but I know not if I really speak deeper) Continuing on.... we got shakes and caught up on old times. Then we went bowling. Six games we played and many laughs were had. I found out that I play pretty dang decent with my left hand and that your fingers have muscles that can get pretty dang sore. It was a great night.

    The following day: Utah State Fair. Before the fair though, I had the joy of finishing my I-9 papers for my new job. I successfully passed the drug test and we were on our way to the fair. About two minutes went by then the transmission was having issues. We made it into Bountiful before the transmission decided to give up and die. I managed to blow out the sole of my left shoe pushing it up a hill to an auto shop. Now for me, these shoes have lasted for ages. They're about 8 months old. They usually die around 6 months. Anywho after the mishap with the vehicle, our only option was to rent a car. By divine providence we were a mere two blocks from place to rent cars. Long story shortened: we got to the fair. Now this year was a little strange for me. The rides didn't really thrill me and I was far more excited to see the vendors. What I truly wish I could have spent more time doing was wandering the numerous art exhibitions they had.I also ate Rocky Mountain Oysters. They were delicious.  

     I have awesome friends. Doubt me? That's too bad. Today we threw knives and played with hoops. Later my friends and I partied like none others. We smiled and laughed and made merry. I personally met some new people and had a blast. All my attempts to describe the evening are staunchly defied. 

    People like you don't come out of thin air.

    I would also like to apologize for my frivolous musings. They leak in from time to time when I forget to feed myself. I will try to refrain from making them so public, for my sake if not for your peace of mind.

    Wednesday, September 7, 2011

    Hey people. Chances are you miss me. I might even miss you as well! (I probably do) What is on my mind today? Many things, and if you want to know a few I suggest you continue reading.

    First, I'd like to vent something that has left me riled. As I was playing a game online, a person placed on my team had the username "I Am A Mormon". Obviously I was ecstatic to meet a person so proud to belong to the Church. Before the game started I was quick to send out a quick question whether the person were LDS. All I got was question marks in reply. Before we could further the conversation we were placed back in the queue to join a game and thereby no longer chatting together. As luck would have it this mysterious individual was in the next group of people I was placed with, but on the opposing team. To add more to my budding rivalry, he had chosen MY character as well. It isn't one you see everyday and I enjoy being the only person to play him. Needless to say that got my hackles up. So began an intense forty-five minutes of pushing and ganking, all of which I made it a special point to win. In the end, I was the victorious Rumbler.
     What is more, throughout the game he was continually salacious and ever ill-mannered. All under his self-proclaimed username. At the end of game chat I was in the process of reporting his name and conduct, when he began making jokes on "Mormons". This just sent me over the edge.

    I was filled with fury and began berating him on how he would begin to imply that he is a member of a faith that he, in no way, begins to understand. I berated him for over five minutes and defeated every little thing he could throw at me. I truly hope I managed to shed some light in his dark existence.

    The main reason I share this, is that I usually do not get angry over anything anymore. But when I saw this mongrel impersonating a member of the Church, my heart started pounding and my muscles began going into overdrive. I was ready for a literal fight. It took me about fifteen chapters of the New Testament to calm me down. I am still all.... GRRR RAUGH IMMMA FIRIN' MUH LAZ000RR!!

    In other news.... I will be gone from the Happy Valley in a fortnight and six days. What will happen in a score of days? I leave for a job. What will I be doing? Farming brine shrimp eggs. Exciting? No. Well-paying? Yes. Am I filled with trepidation at the thought of leaving everyone behind? Only mostly a bit. Luckily I have amazing friends that make my life marvelous. One of whom can always see to the heart of what I feel and voice it. It's a somewhat startling thing to have someone say exactly what you know for yourself but unable to describe yourself. 
    I'll be under that big night sky.

    "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." 
    I will miss all of you terribly, but this is something I have to do. I am a man with a plan, but the plan belongs to my Father. He knows everything that is good and wholesome for me. Like the wonderful friends that he has seen fit to bless me with. I love you guys more than I can ever get the courage to say. Need a kidney? He gave me a spare just for you. Need a massage? He blessed me with a skill to relax and restore you. Need a shoulder to cry on? He gave me two. One to cry on and one to switch to when the first is too wet. Need a friend? He sent me here to touch on your life and you on mine. 

    I have a confession... I had my heart stolen away again. I'm pretty sure nobody knows. I'm pretty sure I'll make it through January without seeing them. I'm positive she's more than the prettiest, but this song is just too cute and I had to share it.

    Sunday, September 4, 2011

    I am a rock

    Basically I'm a bit feverish. Basically I love reading. Basically I have an older brother that always has my back. Basically Simon and Garfunkel could be the fathers of Will Ferrell. Basically they make my insides feel good.

    I have my books
    And my poetry to protect me;
    I am shielded in my armor,
    Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
    I touch no one and no one touches me.
    I am a rock, 

    Saturday, September 3, 2011

    "In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play. " - Friedrich Nietzsche

    If you've never met me, why are you reading my blog? That's just a little bit creeper-style. If you have met me, you know I'm a tad more than sane. I very much enjoy jumping around and not having a care what others might think of my actions. That's basically why I have this quote because I realized that the other day....

    You guys like pretty pictures right? Well these are some reasons why my family reunion is the bombdiggity.
    We get a bouncy house and have amazingly cute children.
    We all gaze vaguely at the sky.

    We put candy in a cannon

    We shoot said candy at passing birds and scavenge both the birds and candy.
     Cool pictures right? Well as you may or may not know, I am rather a decent cook. So decent I have trained a monkey to barbecue.

    She's just so cute isn't she? And the best part about these photos? I didn't have to do anything!

    Now the big and juicy part of this post. The part where I describe why yesterday was basically the best day I've experienced in an age. What made it so downright amazing? Well let me tell you...

    It all started at 4:35 A.M. I awoke and immediately sent out a text to one of my compatriots. I then proceeded to jump out of bed and dress much like a fireman. I even took some time to brush my hair a bit! I then made my way northward to meet up with Hannah Thomas (By the by, if you don't know her, you are missing out on WIN in your life). A short stroll later we had annexed Jonathan Engle to the posse. Together, we gave a car a heart attack. It was much fun. We sat under a street light with markers, paper, scissors, and fake blood. It was only like five in the morning but still when cars passed we waved and the inhabitants of the cars waved right back. [I love Utah.] By the time we were done it was about 6:20 which meant it was time for me to run back home to see the littlest Phillips off to school. Side note: On the way home I confused a great many people. How might you ask? Well I have a knack for bird noises and imitated all the calls I heard. It was great seeing their faces when it dawned on them that this random guy jogging past was the source of the sound. 

    Fast forward nine hours. I was strolling through northern Provo and I happened to have a small boon with me. This boon had a certain person's name on it and I only thought it right to return it to the owner. I left it on the porch and continued my stroll. Apparently that was the biggest mistake I could make. The owner of the parcel came out and vehemently scolded me and then proceeded to hug me. Must I point out the owner is a woman? 
    Throughout the rest of the day there were many adventures and innumerable smiles and laughter that seemed to last an eternity. Not to mention the discovery of new friendships and a Harry Potter door. 


    You might wonder why I have this video here... well... basically in the course of loud events where there was much gaggling, a certain person started singing this. I have to say I LOVE "The Phantom of the Opera". To hear this song unexpectedly in the night veritably stunned me. I stopped whatever it was I was doing and went and sat down just to enjoy the lyrical quality of this song. I have never personally seen any performance of this play, but the music from it throws me into musical bliss. So to the friend, if you are reading this, thank you.