The more I see and experience in life, the more I realize that there are those who will always be there for you, who always want to see you happy. Thankful for mine.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
QuIERO que sepas
Tú sabes cómo es esto:
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe,
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.
Si de pronto
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.
Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
que en ese día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.
si cada día,
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable.
Si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.
Friday, April 7, 2017
Growing up love seemed so clean, so pure. It was idyllic in its simpleness. It isn't. Love is hardly ever not messy. It comes out of nowhere and leaves you lost and confused and hopeful and scared. Yet still, love makes the sky more blue, food taste better, it fills life with clarity. It has ups and downs and it's a lot of work. People do stupid things because of love.
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Never in my life have I ever felt such constant emotion. Early on in life I learned self discipline, to not be ruled by my base self. As of recent, though, emotion rules. Is anxiety an emotion? Or is it a state of mind? I know not, just that when it hits it hits hard. I overthink constantly. It's hard not to when I've so much time stagnant.
Still, my heart soars. I feel full and complete. Life is good.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
I am past despair. I am past the hours of hot tears streaming down my face. I am alone. I am empty. I am filled with grief. I can't breathe. Iron shackles bind me. I'm drowning in my anguish. I am calm. I am hopeless. I am the withered husk of what could have been.
I am hollow.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
I love you, completely. I look at you and know I can't deny you anything. You want my heart? You already have it. You want my attention? It never left you. You want my blanket I've kept since I was 12? All yours. I just can't help these thoughts that you feel the same. It's probably the fact that I've been used and let down so much in the past that keeps me from believing I could ever have anything so great as you. Bourne doesn't get nice things. Bourne doesn't deserve nice things.
How could you ever be happy with me? What can I ever give to you that you couldn't get better from someone else? When am I going to feel that sweet, familiar burning in my chest when you tell me you just don't feel it anymore? When am I going to put on my smile and tell you it's alright, I understand. When am I going to watch you walk away, like everyone else in my life? When will I be alone again? When will my dreams of a future fade away into painful memory? I love you.
PULVIS ET UMBRA SUMUS