About Me

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I come from a small town, enjoy laughing and being the weird one to help others smile. We should hang out sometime.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Random Ramblings

Tonight we have the random ramblings of a somewhat red-skinned and rakish young man. Now what shall I talk about? Too bad. You don't get to find out quite yet.   

                                     (Seriously. If you haven't figured out I just pour out what's left of my heart and soul on this random internet domain, you need to stick your head in a barrel of cold water)




   I know you all love how I write and blather on endlessly about things. But I know... you really come here for the somewhat joking things I say about the undead menace. You know....
This guy

Now that's just too bad because I'll talk about whatever I like =P
                                                                        What is it about girls that make them so... adorable?

Well fellers, your guess is as good as mine. To me, it's everything about them and most importantly (Yes it's cliche. What else do you expect from little ol' me?) what their personality is like. The rest is just a bonus

I mean when you really sit yerself down and think, what else matters? If being on a date with the most beautiful girl in the world would be a total drag, why go on it? Fortunately the majority of comely women I know are great fun to be around :D

Enough about those girly things. They have cooties.

Recently I've been doing a ton of reflecting. Usually at that ravishing time when the sun touches the horizons.
Like this

They are all so overwhelmingly beautiful in their own way. I have been finding myself for the past while finding myself outside to just stand and stare at these everyday occurrences. Such beauty is oftentimes overlooked so easily perhaps because it is taken for granted. 

Now back to what I've been reflecting about. 

I have come to realize I LOVE sooo many people. I would sincerely take a bullet for the majority of people I know. (Not to mention how awesome that would be to say I've done) 

Why all the love? Why not? Everybody has so much to offer one another. I just think it's so silly we all get hung up on personal grudges and vendettas. I know I have been far from loving of my fellow man but what is the point of anything else? It just causes more feelings of contention and unhappiness. But I've noticed the more I try to show my love for others, the better I feel about myself. You might want to try the same ;-)  


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Updating my life and Zombies

Well hello there my never present and unfaithful readers!!! What do I have in store for you in this post? Fantastic renderings of bacon? Prepubescent samurai anomalies? Accounts of pulchritudinous women so amazing that just looking at them causes normal brain function to stutter to a stop? Well sadly I'll only focus on one of these things....
Not Jacob Black

Jacob Black

 Big scary almost rant aside, I will admit to some startling semblances between us. 
  1. We both are ridiculously good looking
  2. We both have hordes of adoring fans
  3. We both are personal space heaters 
  4. We both have huge muscles (My legs anyone?)
  5. We both have cute hair 
  6. I have a cute smile
What makes me bring this up? No reason. I just felt like posting about this delicious piece of man meat. 
Recently I have begun to become good ( I sincerely hope I'm not being TOO presumptuous in this regard) friends with a couple of girls that I can literally laugh away the hours with. Now these people shall remain anonymous for their safety. But partying up a storm with these two has been a painful process. HOW? 
         A certain one of them has a pointed fascination with my shoelaces and continually attempts to steal them. Both enjoy using me for my wonderful hands. They had heard rumors floating about that I am ridiculously good with massages. I know not how that particular set of rumors had gotten out but whoever started that, I have to say thank you. 
Massaging demanding women has its advantages. These ever so greatful women made my night so wonderful. One massaged my legs while the other doted upon me. Then the amazing one who massaged my legs made pudding. PUDDING!! GELATINOUS DELICIOUSNESS IN A BOWL!! And we all watched "When in Rome" together on a very comfortable couch.

And on the following day one of the girls and I just went up to a park and just talked. It was really crazy that I could talk so much. I really haven't been all that outgoing recently and thats probably why I've been boring them all to tears. 
I LOVE DESSERT!!! It is so delicious and a perfect time to just sit around and enjoy your fantabulous company.

I truly realize I have been lacking in my promise to incorporate zombies into my post. In closing I'd like to leave you with the top ten lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack.
  1. Organize before they rise!
  2. They feel no fear, why should you?
  3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
  4. Blades don't need reloading.
  5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair
  6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
  7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
  8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
  9. No place is safe, only safer.
  10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


This evening I wanted to make a blogpost. Then I got distracted by Facebook... then I came back! Now I realize I lack a solid topic to blog of. Sad isn't it? Luckily the gnomes planted an idea in my head.... TOYS!!!11!! Now my toys aren't quite exactly the toys you tend to imagine. You're probably envisioning choo-choos and cars and Barbies. I envision.... my closet.
       "Your closet?!?!", you ask incredulously.
     "Why yes, my closet.", says the hulking figure that looms before you. Somewhere in the dark recesses of your cobwebbed mind you begin to recognize this behemoth. With horror you recall this colossal shadow is, in truth, a soporific young man!!!
              You begin to panic and seek an escape route, but it is too late. You have been trapped and you must continue listening to this monotonous fellow describe his life away....

           "Now my closet is full of wonderful toys. When I say toys, I imagine you envision choo-choo trains and Barbie dolls. These aren't my toys. My toys are swords (short, long, and broad) nunchucks, sais, kamas, tonfa, tri-sectional staves, bo staves, recurve bows, and escrima sticks. I reminisce my childhood days, spent in a small town, where I learned to play. What sick turn of events would make these things my toys? Zombie Apocalypse? Well to tell the truth my parents have all the blame. They're the ones who took me from being just some four year old jumping around trying to be all 4 ninja turtles to the cold calculating machine I am now. Okay okay,  I realize I'm not a cold, calculating machine. I'm much funnier than that ^_^   Whenever I play D&D I'm always Chaotic Good, being as that is what I identify best with.

Corny reference aside, I have spent the majority of my life "playing" with all these things. And I have to admit. I take a sick pleasure when I'm outside with my mother smacking practice swords back and forth. Not because we're hitting each other with sticks, but because all the hoodrats going by on their way to the mall are always trying to act cool until they see us. When they see us twirling around and the swords clacking, they gape. I imagine it looks rather interesting as my mother puts her hair up in the Japanese style when we do such. But swords aren't my real passion. For me, it would have to be escrima sticks. And for that I head to my father. Escrima sticks are just sticks. But they are training for learning dual shortswords.
Not to mention they sound so much cooler when my father and I spar. It's all clickitty clickitty clack clack click.
              What am I trying to say with all this? I'm weird, I love it, and you should come play with me sometime!!"

Saturday, July 16, 2011

A Smile... of Happiness

<-- This guy does it correctly

Emo Hitler does it wrong

 He just needs to turn it upside down--->

So you might be 
why...               I have so much about smiles... 

well.... [can you tell I like girls ellipses?] I have to tell you something. The other day I realized [or rather I was told]
that I have an amazing smile.
It's not one of those things you usually see in yourself === I certainly HOPE not === but such has been said too many times very recently and over time that I'm beginning to believe it. I mean it's really one of the things  that people comment most on to me. "Wow Bourne! You're always smiling!" "Don't you ever stop smiling!?!?"
And I also try very hard to make sure everyone around me has a good reason to smile. A smile from me (they're infectious), a joke, or I'll even do something absurd and totally outrageous. [band anyone?]
Let me be Frank. Actually... I'd rather just be myself.
 Poor pun aside (and a bit above)
I'm not really all that proud of my body.
My body is nice and strong and such... but it's... hard to explain. The only part of it I'm somewhat proud of
Isn't that beautiful? Alright alright. It's an old tacky picture but I like it. 
 Now back to the main topic of this post. My smile. The most recent example of the power of my own smile goes back to a day earlier this week. I was hanging out in the mall with some friends. Two girls walked into the store (Pac Sun or whatever) and they were cute. My friends (two of which were on shift at the store) saw me look and dared me to flirt with them. Naturally, me being the bashful guy I am, just smiled and blushed and looked away. Then I felt the eyes upon me. I looked up and made eye contact and I guess I smiled. I continued talking with my friends and awkwardly not making eye contact with either of those girls. But I would casually look over and everytime I did that they happened to look over at me. 

Right after they left, a girl friend I was with (notice the space?) started going crazy. She was amazed that somehow I had managed to flirt with the girls without even going over and talking to them.
This really started me thinking... what is a smile? What does it do? 
I then realized that I smile, not only for me, but for others. I smile nonstop when people see me, because I'm always enjoying the presence of others. 

I LOVE being with and around people.

  And I also have learned that throughout my life, I've always tried to make others around me smile and feel some happiness. Why? I know not. Probably because everybody looks good with a smile on their face :D

Then there are times where I remember how great it is to have something to smile about. I look back at my Freshman year. Before I moved to Timpview, I lived in a middle of nowhere town and had tons of awesome friends that I could go hang out with and do anything at anytime. Life was amazing.

Then I moved.

I had been uprooted and now lived in a place that always had noise and thousands of people.  I went to a school where I wouldn't be able to know everybody's name (though I sure tried over the years) just through sheer dint of numbers.  

Being as it was January, everyone knew everyone and was totally comfortable. I wasn't. Coming from a small, middle of nowhere town was rather hard for me. The Commons were a constant struggle just because I did not want to be rude at all and perchance offend somebody (don't worry I got over that worry). And to make matters more difficult, I had that issue almost every person that moves in to a new place has.  

Making new friends was hard. 
 It took me about two months to really make a few friends (Thank you band) that I would hang out with at school. Before that point I went to classes, felt embarrassed I knew the answer to every question {small classes move through material faster than big classes}, ate lunch ALONE in the cafeteria, then watched the chess club play chess. After which I'd go back to sitting in the corner in class.

What does any of this have to do with me smiling? It made me appreciate the power of a smile. People say that a smile can really make a person's day. Fact is, the saying is true. I made it a specific goal in my life to help others smile. What has it gotten me? Well it has turned my smile.... 
 into a...

 Smile    of     HAPPINESS