About Me

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I come from a small town, enjoy laughing and being the weird one to help others smile. We should hang out sometime.

Sunday, January 29, 2012


Okay. Once upon a time I was amusing and such on the blog. When did this thing turn into my venting place? I dunno....

It is is time. 

It is time for the Smile of Happiness 

to rise up from the ashes and shine forth like never before.


Now for the serious thought...

You know those people who pour absolutely EVERYTHING they've got into life? It's as if positive energy is dripping out of their ears... you know those people who you don't really even know, but they somehow make you want to experience more, to get to know people more, to make every day into something special? yeah...I want to be like that. (THANK YOU Melissa Gee)
I have very much been trying to change my life to live it as such. The best part? I have a role model for it. His name? Dale Thomas Tingey. Who's he? Well here is a tiny bit about him.
Fighter Pilot during WWII, founder of American Indian Services, recipient of the Day of '47 Health Education & Humanitarian Assistance Award, and most important to me, he is my grandfather. I doubt there is anywhere he could go in the nation without knowing somebody or being known by somebody.
1:22 shows where I get my mad skillz

Yes. He is fantastic. He is a man who has dedicated his life and everything in it to serving others. He oozes vitality. (Seriously. He turns 88 this year and is still running around serving.) He wreaks of positiveness. He is my role model. Want to know more about him? Maybe try reading a bit of his biography, Same Drum Different Beat. Or better yet, you should come with me and say hello to him sometime. He enjoys the like and we might get to do some fun service. What kind of fun service? Stacking mountains of chocolate boxes.
 May the odds ever be in your favor.

Friday, January 27, 2012



Awkward: adjective Lacking skill or dexterity

Awkward definitely describes a great many things about me. Awkward times I laugh, awkward statements, but most importantly (detrimental) awkward attempts at courting. 

When it comes to girls... I feel like this guy at 3 minutes-4 minutes and definitely 4:42-6:20, just minus the happy ending. You should definitely watch 4:42-6:20. It'll make your day.

I've gotten much better over the past few years, for the most part I'm only clumsy. I just really wish I could manage to get out what  I actually want to say. 

Then I'm more often than not, here in the Friend Zone. This is the point where you click here if you dunno what I am referring to. You should also click on it if you want to be entertained or if you are/have been in marching band.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I have a monster crush on you,
A super-dinosaur!
It sits upon my chest and throat
And yet I beg for more.

When you're away I miss you so
My heart is full of sand.
Yet when you're here my stupid fear
Won't let me touch your hand.

I cannot sleep, I cannot eat,
I'm so wrapped up in you.
My thoughts drift up, away from words,
And fade into the blue.

I know this crush is not your fault;
The dinosaur is mine.
Yet if you could, please rescue me,
And put your arms around me, and hold me, and say
you love me, and Oh heavens! Would that be good!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Painted nails, Pain, and a Spinning Swing

My toenails are this color. Bright, beautiful, shocking, and totally unexpected. You see, the other night I started Hapkido. A friend invited me once and I was hooked. 

In my younger years I was a fighter. In my younger years I went out with a will to destroy. In my younger years I competed in the Utah Summer Games and brought back mostly gold. In my younger years, I was a fool and a firebrand.

Anywho.... I fell into the block as the lowest of the low. Sporting my gym shorts and native pride shirt whilst the score of other students were in their hangul (도복) and hanja (道服).

During the beginning of class, I wowed the crowd with my flexibility (HAWT). The rest of the class consisted of me being shown everything once and the other students being amazed. One of the biggest things was I can roll. Yeah. I'm good at falling.

So the actual end (so far) is that I have a black belt in Hapkido. It's rather something I feel proud of. Not just because I can walk in and say, "Oh look at me. I am better than you." but that I have engrained good technique into myself and those years of training have not been wasted.

 I used to train Kenpo Karate. This guy is Navajo. I am monologue-ing.

 In other news... 

I have begun working out again. This has left me terribly sore from going all in and leaving nothing behind. Not to mention I accidentally grabbed 40 pound dumb-bells while competing with friends curling 25 pound dumb-bells....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


 The Cake of Friendship
Michelle Flores

Preheat the oven of love
With plenty of secrets and hugs

Mix in giggles and laughs

That make your sides split in half

Bake with the love and care

And all the things you both should share

Decorate with the frosting of trust

This is really a must

Enjoy the cake do not eat it fast

Just like your new friendship make it last.

Semi-awkward self-therapy post time? I do believe so.

Soooo.... I have a friend. This friend gives me such a hard time. She doesn't do it on purpose... but it is pretty hard to think of words to try and describe her. This is my usual attempt assisted by a thesauraus... 
  • Fantastic
  • Phantasmagorical
  • Amazing
  • Awesome
  • Incredible
  • Sensational
  • Marvelous
  • Superb
  • Striking 
  • Stunning
  • Wonderful
  • Wondrous
  • Stupefying
  • August
  • Resplendent
  • Splendorous
  • Grand
  • Sublime
As you can see, she is extraordinary (I need to add the list....). Why? You would have to meet her to fully understand but in short, she continually surprises me. There's always something new and fascinating.

Oh yeah....  

There's this other thing....

She makes me smile.

A whole lot.

 That is all. Proceed with your life.
If you sneezed anytime throughout this blogpost


Sunday, January 15, 2012

yijah, Qey' 'oH

Firstly, my big brother is amazingness. I cannot imagine my life without Him.

Now on with the regularly non-scheduled presentation.

Last night was a bit of a rough night. I felt VERY angry and spent three hours thinking on how I would annihilate people in different situations. It definitely was not good. Good news for me is that I have sa-weet friends that make my days and nights fun to live.

I'm sorry that I haven't been much of a blogger recently, but I have such a life that I am barely home anymore and thence unable to bore you all with my lovely drivel. Soo.... Enjoy some randomocity and some tastefully selected music.



O S A R!



Friday, January 13, 2012

Monster Within

 Monster Within

Staring at my mirror, displeased and distraught,

reminiscing upon all the battles I've fought, 

I can not help but wonder, what do i feel? ,

do my emotions exist? , are they even real? ,

I glance at my body in disgust and scorn,

all that it lacks are the wings and the horns,

and the pitchfork, perfectly reflecting my character,

for the rank of my evil is of a truly high caliber, 

I despise all that is nice, I sympathize for no one, 

I glare in disgust upon all that is fun,

your mistaken if you think that I'm sweet or kind,

for if you knew the real me I'm sure that you'd find, 

I am nothing at all like the way I appear, 

I disguise my true self, I hide it in fear, 

I detest my appearance, I hate how I act,

so I silently made to myself a pact, 

I abandoned my heart and soul, and left them to rot,

in turn abandoning the pain and sorrow they brought,

and as my heart decays slowly, I can do nothing but stare,

into a mirror that reflects no one, as if I was not there,

and out of nowhere shrieks of pain and anguish ring upon my ears,

and everyone I ever knew breaks into loud cheers,

they stand above my casket, not in mourning but in joy,

they mock my frail corpse, for it resembles not a boy,

but a monster trapped inside that form, with not a chance to grow,

but it was the lack of heart and soul that laid the final blow,

and struck my body motionless, to lay in grief and woe,

and it was there that i died inside, the pain i felt, you'll never know, 

for I have no heart to pump my blood, no soul to warm my heart,

so my heart has grown an icy chill, and thus, broken apart, 

I did not resist my death, I felt it was deserved,

for my evil side still existed, though I kept it quite reserved,

so I died a painful death on my very date of birth, 

I died without a purpose, without a sense of worth,

and my death affected no one, they all lived on their lives,

as the empty shell of who I was, still wandered the earth, alive,

it resembles who I used to be, though it feels not a thing,

not a sliver of happiness, even pain doth not sting,

it wanders with no goal, only to eat and to write,

its poetic brilliance shudders, and awakens every night,

it claims to be me but has no real name yet, 

I would introduce you two, but you've already met,

it claims to be fond of you, I presume that is a sign,

maybe it plans to control you next, maybe you're all in line...

Here and there, the monster comes out. I hope you never get to see it, because then I fear you will never return.


Monday, January 2, 2012

Captain's Ledger 9-30-2011

Today, I begin spreading the elaborate chronicles of my adventures in......


While the concept of bagging up thousands of pounds of these tiny eggs (which seem to be a mix betwixt sand and mud) is a bit mind boggling, it happens. Care to learn more? Call me or hang out with me. Or you could just read the blog....

Captain's Ledger
Entry date: Friday 9-30-2011

I, Captain Kirk Bourne Phillips, am keeping this ledger to record my memoirs and adventures abroad whilst brine shrimping.

       Wednesday the 28th was orientation. Orientation consisted of two hours of PowerPoint presentations and four hours of ATV (All Terrain Vehicle) training. The ATV training pushed my patience to the brink of disaster. Training aside, we traveled around 2.5 hours to reach our destination of MAIN CAMP. At MAIN CAMP, all but three of us fresh harvesters were assigned to several different camps. I was among the triad of lost souls. After yet another two hours of waiting, we were assigned to our respective camps. I was sent, along with one other man (Maurice Benally, a Navajo) to CAMP MORTON. MORTON was the most remote of the camps and because the sun was setting, we were unable to make the long ride out to what would become my home. Bunked in MAIN CAMP kitchen trailer.
     Thursday the 29th was a day that started late for me, about 5:45 A.M.  Left Morton around 7:30 A.M.  Arrived at mile marker 93 on I-80 Westbound sometime later, at which time I began unloading foodstuffs we had brought with. Walked with the Bosun (Bill, my supervisor who happened to be on federal parole for robbing a bank) around 1 mile to acquire ATVs  stashed in our smuggler's cove. Returned to highway, loaded ATV trailers with belongings and food, then made my first trip to my new home.I cooked the first meal in the camp, lunch. Chicken stewed in tomatoes and orange juice with a side of mixed vegetables. Reset of day spent organizing Kitchen tent (and carpentry for storage shelves). Managed to leave while dinner (chicken fritters and mixed vegetables) was being prepared. Dug my grave.