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I come from a small town, enjoy laughing and being the weird one to help others smile. We should hang out sometime.

Monday, August 29, 2011





Drip drip drip!!


So if you don't know, I love the rain. What's more, I have an affinity for electron discharge (yes, I just used a fancy way to describe lightning). When you put these two together, you can hardly get me inside. I don't know what it is that happens inside me, but I feel the need to rush out and be in it. I need the rain. I am so infatuated with the rain I want to move to Oregon or Washington, Hawaii, Japan, Illinois, anywhere it rains frequently.

This past weekend has been just what I needed. I've had the rain, but more importantly I've had the presence of friends. I know it in my heart, that were it not for my friends I would not be who and what I am today. So thank you. Right then you probably shook your head and called me a fool, but YOU bring a smile to my insides. 

And we're back to the rain. Saturday brought a fabulous lightshow and a downpour I enjoyed so much. Sunday though, Sunday brought the rain that I cannot resist. It brought the rain harried by wind and harnessed by lightning. 

 I had been sitting at home watching Batman Forever, but that thunder called to me. The rain pulled me out. I skipped about outside.


Yelling for joy.


In that rain, I can feel the life flowing down from the sky. I soaked in the feelings. Sensations. I suddenly found myself on some country road out west of the city. Did I care? No, the storm was getting even heavier. 

I closed my eyes and spread my arms. I smiled.

I listened to the symphony.
I listened to the hundreds of little taps, the keen of the wind, the sigh of the grass. I felt the thunder, I felt the life pouring down. 
You know what's so great about sandals? You can wiggle your toes in the rain. You get to swish them through the puddles. I'm sure anyone who saw me, saw a crazed teenager in shorts, sandals, and a blue shirt. They probably thought I was going to be sick. They didn't know I was soaking in that Universe Juice though.

I wandered home and reached my front door at 1:03 A.M. I would have to be up again in five hours. Did I mind? Not at all. 

Oh and by the by, my bishop is awesome. He sang this song in sacrament to some dear friends leaving the ward. It was one of the songs I kept singing in the rain. I love it dearly. If you are my friend, this is one of few songs that I will sing with less inhibition.

Saturday, August 27, 2011


I long for another year of high school! Before I was pretty well excited that I didn't have to be up and going to school. Now it is plain to me that high school was something I didn't fully exploit. As to an earlier post, I can be considered.... popular. [This still is a weird thought for me.] Throughout high school I didn't fully appreciate the friends I had around me. I didn't appreciate that I had everything I really needed built into my school day. Now that all my friends, myself included, are leaving to go out into the world, I see myself more alone by the day. It's been a long time since I've felt this chill settling itself into me.
"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." -- Henry Rollins

Last night I went and played with the band. This is basically what started my gyros to spinning and the gears churning. I walked around the band shed and immediately I heard cries of "BOURNE BOURNE!! It's BOURNE!!". Honestly it really made my week to hear people directing happiness my way. I wandered aimlessly from bubble of friends to bubble of friends. Just spending time relishing in the presence of others. I even had the joy of playing in the band block once again.
           I loved it. I loved the experience all the more because I had been feeling alone. What's more, I had a truly wonderful run home. Sure the humidity made me uncomfortable and I was running in sandals, but I needed those six miles. Those miles put some much needed perspective in my life. What has become of it? I plan on LIVING my life. I will enjoy all the little things even though the "big" things might not go my way. Thank you my very dear friends who bring a smile to me insides. 'Tis thee best ointment anybody'll e'er need.
You don't have to listen to this, it's just a rendition I enjoy.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


So I have a new man crush. His name is Peter Cincotti... [insert babe photo] Yes yes, I don't have a babe photo. But here is a babe photo with a song. Listen to it as you scan through the rest.

This song is basically the story of my life at the moment....

You give your hand to me and then you say, "Hello,"
I can hardly speak; my heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell you think you know me well,
Well you don't know me
No, you don't know the one who dreams of you at night,
And longs to kiss your lips and longs to hold you tight.
To you I'm just a friend; that's all I've ever been,
Well, you don't know me.

I lack something cool and amusing to speak of today but this sexy man is enough, yes? 

 These look pretty dang delicious, don't they? Well guess who is now a pastry chef at Kneaders? :D   I'll let you try and deduce by yourself... But seriously what I do, I do deliciously.


Monday, August 22, 2011


Today.... I woke up at six in the morning to make sure my sister were up and prepared for school.  To do this I had to morph into.....


Yes, I did just name myself that. I roused the troops, sent them to their morning ablutions and began preparing their fajitas (no pansy cereal for my girls). Soon we were all munching happily on food and ready for school. It was hardly 6:45. Their pick-up times were 8:05 and 8:40. What did we do? We did what any normal family does and partied around while watching/listening to Youtube videos.

After seeing the littlest one off, I watched Invader Zim with the twelve year old. Soon enough it was time for me to escort her off to her new bus stop. Arriving on time (that is to say early) I we had about six minutes before the bus was due to arrive. It was then that I had an epiphany. Why not teach my sibling to count to ten in like five languages? That'd be impressive and should spark some love for language. So far she has 1-3 in English, Spanish, French, Japanese, and almost in Navajo. Pretty impressive I must admit, I mean we're just so full of brains!

Now to speak of my dream I had last night. I believe it was a sign to start this blog post... It was about... the living dead. 
I stood alone, twas midday on Timpview's soccer field. Coming from all directions were those Solanum infected brutes. The zombies. Reaching above my shoulders with both hands, I drew my dual katanas. I dashed to and fro, decapitating all those infected that unknowingly lurched toward certain (re)death. Hearing cries for help from the band room, I rushed Northward. Upon reaching the loading dock I saw a veritable horde attempting to reach the tender morsels above. Not stopping to ponder the situation I sliced in and diced out. Seeing a friend weaponless, I tossed one sword up and whipped out my trusty hatchet. Braining the undead with my left hand and decapitating with my right, I annihilated the threat to my friends. Just then my family pulled up in a pickup. I doubt I will be soon to forget the sight. In the bed of the truck were my two sisters with .22 rifles and amongst a veritable stockpile of goods. Riding shotgun, was my father who lived up to the name of the seat by wielding the 870 Remington shotgun. Driving was my mother. I vaulted into the back and we were off. I had a sudden Legend of Zelda moment. Sitting there and beckoning to me, was a crate. Hurriedly I flipped the top open to see what it could possibly be. It was.... the MASTERKEY.

 Perhaps the greatest anti-zombie weapon I could ask for. A shotgun mounted on an assault rifle. Can we say driving through town was wonderful target practice? Not to mention that my mother was putting to effective use a 9mm Browning while driving. 

I rather enjoyed this dream.... and I hope you did as well! 

Sunday, August 21, 2011


Hello all of you who read these enlightening posts! 

First off,  I want to point out I love you. 

The End!

Okay, you caught me. That was not in fact the end of the post. But I rather had you fearful of the end for maybe two seconds right?  

 Today, I will type of a concept that has seriously been nagging in the back of my mind for the past month. 

The subject at hand? Just the word popular. 


regarded with favor, approval, or affection by people in general: a popular preacher.
regarded with favor, approval, or affection by an acquaintance or acquaintances: He's not very popular with me just now.

You may be more than a tad quizzical as to why this word has been irking my psyche. Honestly, it's something I never wanted to be. Everyone knows the popular people are complete snots that spend their hours attempting to contemplate a new routine of crushing and attacking anyone and everyone. 

Coming from a rural area, I never saw one of these stereotypical popular persons. Everyone was (more or less) friends with everyone. Sure there were a few declared blood feuds, but EVERYONE was civil, if not outright kind. We all knew that only city kids could possibly be so mean to one another.

Why all the seemingly random backstory? Well... recently one of my good friends accused me of being popular. That was completely unexpected and rather made me angry, because of my stereotypes. But this started me thinking, what really is popular? I found those definitions up there. In my evenings I would find myself staring off to the western horizon and pondering popularity. Is it truly all that bad? Who else do I know that could be called popular?

Some names came to mind, and EVERY one was somebody I respected. 
Ben Jacob: Student Body President 2010-2011, somebody who I'm sure knew every person in the school, a person I am proud to have met.
Emma Marie: How can I begin to describe her? She was the very first person I met here in the Northland. And it wasn't even at school! I was up at a New Year's Eve dance and she came up to me and greeted me quite randomly. All throughout high school she was always there willing to help everyone even when she had a stack of homework as high as a doorframe. I'm honored to call her friend.

 Dale Thomas Tingey: Fighter Pilot Instructor during WWII, founder of American Indian Services, recipient of the Day of '47 Health Education & Humanitarian Assistance Award, and most important to me, he is my grandfather. I doubt there is anywhere he could go in the nation without knowing somebody or being known by somebody.

Seeing that these people are popular, I now embrace the possibility of me being popular. It's rather strange and unsettling.

I have another confession to make.... I am nervous. This isn't the nervous I get when I'm around a pretty girl. I'm pretty sure that I think I might sorta slightly be able to hide that...maybe. No, this is a nervousness that comes from possibly not seeing any of my friends for three months. I now have an appointment for an interview for a job. Now this job will be farming shrimp on the Great Salt Lake. It'll be amazing if I can get it, but that means I'll be apart from all of you. I've grown used to having friends around all the time the past two years... and soon I could very well be alone. It's all very sobering thought for one such as me.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


 Today's message brought to you by:

because they're amazing and make me happy


 As you all recall [or if not go read my other posts like a good stalker] I have been working on reworking myself, both my physical self and my mental outlook. I look at myself in the mirror and realize how much I truly have changed, how I have genuinely bettered myself. Can any others tell a difference? Most likely not. Do I feel different? Most definitely. 

Though as I continue to reform myself, I constantly am seeing things more elements about me I wish to change. What might I wish to change most about myself? 

                                                            That's an awesome question.

   My fear of what I feel, of letting others know it? Or perhaps 'tis me fearing what others will think of me. 

Of letting down my walls and baring all that I am to somebody? Who I am?

I find it pretty dang amusing that what I won't admit to any one person I am here admitting it to anyone and everyone that would read my little corner of interspace. 
I'm sorry to bore you with this drivel, but having it out of me, where somebody just might care makes me feel better than I do when I have a Ding Dong in my hand.    

It is now time for the spoiler section of the post....
My brothers, take the chance. I know I would rather hurt than feel nothing at all. She might brush you aside but at least then you won't waste your hours thinking about what might have been. And if you're reading this and happen to lack a Y chromosome, let us hopeful romantics down easy. We manly types may not show it, but we really do have emotions. Albeit, some choose to shove them away while others are extravagant when expressing them in hopes that what really is felt might be hidden. In the end does it help anything at all? Just let the sentiments flow. That way if some higher power is smiling upon us, we just might get to see those smiles that make the sun seem dim, hear those words that make our souls soar, and have the memories that we would do well to cherish til the end of days.

♥ ---  Yes. Hopeful romantic. I myself am one. We are those who have the stoic resolve to continue hoping against all hope that by some chance the one will one day return our affections. How do I know I'm one? Well.... when I think about a certain somebody  I begin to think in lyrical prose. I think of how I, like the flower sunken within the depths of winters heart, doth long for just a lingering touch of mine summer sun.     [Seriously. It's pitiful. It's commiserative. It's sad. But in the end it's part of me.]

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Abyss

“If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

To every guy, there is a terrifying realm. In this realm nothing you could ever do matters. It is a trap, an endless pit with walls slick as glass. This is.... THE FRIEND ZONE!!

I warn you friends, this is not where you want to be. This limbo is a place where all you do is for naught. You may very well find yourself wandering this place for eternity.  

How does one end up in here? I cannot personally tell you, I can only describe the horrors. You will find yourself wasting away while the person you had hoped to woo continues to ignore your carefully planned advances. Sure you may have the joy of spending long hours with that person, but you will only be a friend. No matter how many chick flicks you sit through, you will always just be the friend. A person to confide in, and fall asleep on, but never to be the person to fall for.  Whatever you do, don't fall for them and end up falling into the Abyss. It's better to fall on your face

In other news....  

                                                        I have a Navajo buddy who says we're going to watch the new Twilight movie because Jacob Black "is angry that he's been shoved into the 'Friend Zone' "

     I smell.


 I've actually been hanging out with friends (or I'm freaking good at making up outings with my imaginary friends)

I miss band!! So to help me not miss it so much I found this...

100 reasons you've been in marching band too long…

1. When you hear music and you start marking time.
2. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them.
3. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
4. When all your friends are in the band.
5. When you don't mind changing clothes on the bus.
6. When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
7. When every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.
8. When you like wearing your uniform.
9. When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?"
10. When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
11. When you've had a "trombone-ectomy"
12. When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
13. When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
14. When people worry when they see you without you instrument.
15. When "armed guard," means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
16. When band camp is FUN
17. When you respond to "band **"
18. When someone says the word "box" and you automatically put your head up.
19. When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
20. When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.
21. When you're alone and you suffocate because there's no one telling you to breathe.
22. When slides feel normal.
23. When your instrument has a name.
24. When you remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.
25. When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
26. When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
27. When you give your instrument a birthday party.
28. When you can make brown shoes look white.
29. When your uniform fits.
30. When white feathers become a fashion "do".
31. When you see your section more than you see your family.
32. When everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.
33. When you have dreams about selling Woody's Wings.
34. When you think evening practices should last a half-hour longer.
35. When you accidentally call your band director "Dad".
36. When you CAN sight-read.
37. When you can put on you uniform in less than 10 minutes.
38. When reeds taste good.
39. When Woody's Wings are part of you daily diet.
40. When you think your plume is alive.
41. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
42. When you have a neck strap/harness/dot book tan line.
43. When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
44. When numbers past 8 aren't important.
45. When you're more opinionated about the Madison scouts/Phantom Regiment Rivalry than the O.J. trial.
46. When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your lunch.
47. When you'd rather practice than read this list.
48. When letters past G aren't important.
49. When you CAN AND ARE WILLING to fall asleep on the band bus.
50. When you hear music and start conducting.
51. When your non-band friends have disowned you.
52. You've named your plume.
53. You attend a game only to watch the halftime show and then leave once it's over.
54. Your social life includes memorizing music.
55. You've practiced so long the color guard is together.
56. You memorize stand tunes for fun.
57. You know your school fight song by heart.
58. You root for the other football team to lessen the time of your season.
59. You don't mind singing on the bus so long as it's the show music.
60. You step on the field again after summer vacation, kiss the ground and yell "I'm home at last!"
61. You can sing not only your show from three years ago, but the other band's show that beat you.
62. You invest in a mouthpiece warmer.
63. Wide open spaces urge you to march your show.
64. You have at least 2 instruments - a junky one for marching and a good one for concert band.
65. Dreams of marching are constantly in your head.
66. Seeing the sunrise and sun set standing in the same spot on the same field doesn't seem odd.
67. You come back after graduation to watch the band on their first day of summer band.
68. You practice the show so much people think you have eyes in the back of your head.
69. You purposely get demerits/fail so you can have extra marching time.
70. You wear your marching shoes to school.
71. The most exciting thing in your life is marching band.
72. It feels odd to wake up in the morning when there is light outside.
73. You start to call the "football field" the "marching field".
74. You call to ask for marching advice from people who graduated years ago.
75. Your senior year you buy your own uniform, hat, and plume as a memento.
76. You no longer think of yourself as a person, but as a dot on a drill book page.
77. You remember each year of high school by the show that you marched in and not the grade.
78. You sit in ready position...at the dinner table.
79. You march in the summer to keep up good marching skills.
80. You have good marching skills.
81. You "Plume Kiss"
82. Your homecoming mum says "Go Band!" not "Go Team!"
83. You miss homecoming for a band function and don't mind.
84. Everyone fights like family.
85. Your band locker has more of your personal items in it than your closet.
86. You forget your sister's name but remember the first, middle, and last name of everyone in your +200 member band.
87. You see your section more than your family.
88. You know everyone in band's business.
89. You have no secrets.
90. Your pets enjoy hearing you play.
91. You can tell who's in the bathroom by looking at their sneakers under the stall.
92. The furniture is dented from your drummer friends banging on it.
93. You can still play your horn for 40 minutes straight after being awake on a bus for 40 hours.
94. You add "English Royal Gaurd" to your job choices after you graduate high school.
95. Changing your oil means opening up your case.
96. You think of sabatoging instruments at the solo & ensemble festival.
97. You can have an interesting conversation with a tuba player or a drummer.
98. You go trick or treating in you band uniform and can think of something your uniform could be (Royal Gaurd Uniform, Police Man Uniform, ect..)
99. You can tell someone's band jacket just by looking at the patches.
And finally the 100th way to tell if you've been in band too long...
100. You actually read through this whole list because it was funny and you got most of jokes.
You know you’re a band geek when...
You start to tap your foot to elevator music.
You make music jokes in a class when there are no other band members in that class.
You spend extra time in the band room and practice your scales faster and faster.
You have pictures of John Phillip Sousa on your locker.
Your band director is your contact person on your emergency card.
You have a different band shirt for everyday of the week.
You practice show step when walking around your house.
You walk in step with your friends.
All your friends and your friends' friends are band members.
Your band uniforms doubles as a Halloween costume.
The band room phone is like your pager.
You tap your foot to the radio.
Your favorite song is by someone who died 100 years ago.
You wear your marching shoes to school.
You keep a spare change of clothes in your band locker.
You wear your marching gloves with your prom dress.
You know what key N*Sync is singing in.
You sing Roll Over Beethoven as you walk to class.
You eat lunch in the band room.
You consider band as a sport.
You have your parents video tape the shows so you can march with them in the off season.
You wear your concert attire to homecoming.
You are friends with the incoming freshmen band members.
Your read budget is higher than your food budget.
When you cut class, you go to the band room.
You vow revenge on the music black market.
You know all the cheerleaders cheers.
You don't go home on the day of a football game.
Your only social activity is Wednesday practice.
Your idea of a recliner is a black music posture chair.
When you graduate, you don't leave.
Band directors house and band room are on speed dial.
You're the only one who shows up for pep band.
You don't take "double tonguing" as a dirty joke.
You know "panache" is a feather.
You conduct in the shower.
You can tune a tenor sax.
You shed tears during Hail Liberty.
You sit in class and start to finger notes on your pencil.
You double tongue in the halls.
You get upset while driving because your windshield wipers aren't in time with the radio.
In a turning lane you notice that the blinkers are not synchronized.
You can relate to the term, "One time in band camp..."
You wear your concert attire, and look at yourself in the mirror and say "I'm good looking".
When you fight for a sports locker, and say "Band is too a sport!" along with the cheerleaders.
Everything on this list describes you to a T.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

An oath

Hello again. It's about two in the morning and my body doesn't feel like sleeping. Annoying thing it is, but I guess I have to put up with it..... But at least it has me on here to make a commitment to myself. I figure that if I put this out where anybody and everyone can read it I may do better about sticking with it.

What is so pressing I feel I must pronounce it to the world and simulate peer pressure?

Learning how to drink with a straw?

Taking a bath in Jell-o?  

Joining an anarcho-syndicalist commune?

Discovering why girls are so cute no matter what they do?

Dressing up in tights and prancing around like a fairy?
Stealing food from a hobo?
Walking up to a random scary looking person and giving them a hug?
Though all these would undoubtedly be very entertaining, I won't be doing any of these soon (if at all! I mean girls are just plain mysterious).
No. I will be setting out on a quest in which I will become a hulking midget. Okay... maybe not a midget.... or hulking.... just a sensitive yet well-defined gentleman. I just have been noticing recently how I really haven't done anything much to care for my overall health and strength. Sure I've gone through and lowered my intake and switched to a diet that is highly vegetarian and easier on my body. Sure I do only a little recreational running from time to time now. But none of this is building anything. It is my proposal that... 
     I, Kirk Bourne "Lard" "Chief Cash-money" Phillips, shall heretofore seek to build my brawn and do away with my corpulent self. That I shall build my body into something slimmer and bigger (and hopefully better).

I do realize that it's a little late in swimsuit season to be worrying about this, but I'm not doing it because I care what anybody really thinks. I have never let fear of what people think keep me from taking off my shirt when the situation is correct. I'm doing this because I'm tired of feeling so much of a slob. I realize I'm not that much of a slob, but I just see so much room where I can improve and feel that once I get better I'll enjoy life a tad bit more. Not to mention all you lady things out there will appreciate my rediscovered strength.

You are now blind and scarred for life*
* Photo courtesy of Jaron Harris who is a major beefcake and single

Friday, August 5, 2011

Friends, Apes, and Bladders

इ ऍम नोट व्रितिंग इन अरबिक!  ठिस इस सो फ्रेअकिंग कोल!

If you are reading this, chances are you're one of my friends (or you might just be a creeper, in which case most of this doesn't apply to you) and you are simply amazing. I'm so glad I have had the joy of having you in my life. There are so many things about you that I just love! Whether it be something as simple as a smile or as complex as your personality, you are a marvelous person that I really do want to be around. Let's hang out sometime okay? And if I seem busy stick with it because I DO want to spend a day with you, I just have an irritating habit of not thinking out my days. 

Awkward heart-to-heart moment aside, I will explain (in too much detail I'm sure) the connection between friends, apes, and bladders.

          My day started off in the usual way with me wondering how I once again managed to end up sleeping on the living room floor. I then immediately proceeded to log onto the deathtrap of Facebook to attempt contact with one of the buddies I had been planning to spend the day with. Seeing as he wasn't on as of yet and I was incredibly hungry I proceeded to the kitchen. Some days I just don't really feel the need to eat meat. It's delicious and all... just sometimes I like to go vegetarian. Yesterday morning was one of those days. I made a monkey wrap.  
                           Spread your chosen amount of peanut butter on a tortilla and then proceed to slice a banana onto the tortilla. Space out the slices and roll! If you so desire you may take your amazingly sharp knife and slice the wrap into pieces like so!  ALSO WORKS WITH NUTELLA!!

Stuffing my face aside, I eventually hooked up with a few of my awesome man buddies and hit up the Seven Peaks Resort (it isn't a waterpark :P). The most amazing part of our time there? Probably fitting all four of us on a double tube and just drifting along the Lazy River.

After that we dispersed and I went to hang out with Shrimpy and it was a blast. But sadly he had to go to a performance for the Pearl Harbor Project, and so I hobo'ed it up in his car and slept. Soon enough we all took off to the performance and I had very sad feelings. I realized I would never again play a concert with the band. I might get invited back for Homecoming and the Alumni Concert, but it just wouldn't be the same. For now though, it's enough for me to be serenaded by the lovely music I have played so fondly.

The rain that afternoon was amazing and was the perfect finish to the music. Hop in the car, go to Shrimpy's house and then to bake a pizza of which I had the distinct joy to watch and prepare. It was pretty good if I may say so myself (and I do). 


   It is at this point that I seem to have lost track of several hours. I seem to remember running, a sense of euphoria, much laughing, and slamming my head into something incredibly hard. For some reason I also remember staring into the sky and thinking about how lucky I am.... and bananas. They're delicious.

More hanging out with friends before we watched "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and it was an awesome party. Aside from laughing for no apparent reason we also had the amazing idea to go to 7-11 and get Double Gulps of Slurpee. First contest = Down the Slurpee as fast as possible. This resulted in large amounts of brain freeze and chills. I won (like a boss).

We then decided that the contest should be to hold your bladder the longest. Anybody to use the restroom during the movie would lose and the ultimate winner would get some indiscriminate prize. Sadly we only decided it should be through the movie so we all won. The movie itself was a blast that I totally enjoyed. If you haven't seen it, go see it. Preferably taking bananas with you. Why the bananas? Well after the movie you can hurry out to the car and do drive-bys with the bananas. 
     NO!! Do NOT throw the bananas at people as you drive by. This is illegal and more importantly, you can't eat the bananas after you're done. Instead, just point the bananas threatening at people and chant the ancient incantation: "Pew pew pew jew pew pew pew pew PEW!!"  This will hopefully befuddle people and cause the people within your car to laugh hysterically. Perhaps even like a troop of apes in the urban jungle....

                   To further insure your success, use a car with a sunroof and perform the drive-by past a large group of college students walking in the middle of the street in their pajamas and blankets. And remember, the more bananas, the more confusion and laughter. 
                      The almost best part? Waking up this morning and using those same bananas for a Nutella/Peanut Butter splice Monkey Wrap while typing up this blogpost XD 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Punny times

Well hello once again! I'm talking to you, even though I know not who you are. Ambiguous conversation? Not today because let us be honest, we're here about ME. Not you. ME. ME ME ME ME ME MEOW!!
           What have I been up to? That's classified.

Srsly guyzzz u no wanna hear about 13 year oldz puttin teh moves onn uzzzz. 

Ever heard of Transformers 2? It's that one movie where there are those one robots who do that one thing to save the world? My memory of the movie is filled with horribly bad puns and a pillow. Don't quite follow me? Well I'll help you with that....

"Guys, there IS such a thing as too much tongue."

This photo represents one pun that I sadly subjected my company to. If you haven't seen the movie yet, and then you shall understand. 

             No poaching. It's illegal and just wrong. 
Deer are great to hunt, but it's rather difficult to be a hunter when there is nothing to hunt.... 


Wow this thing is the cat's meow! I bet it runs purr-fectly! Kitty has claws ;-) 


Wow those are some beautiful mountains. So... majestic. So beautiful. I could just look at this picture all day.

Smiles are seriously the best things ever!!!
I'm ever so glad to say that I haven't had a lack of them recently. Even those days where I'm content to sit around and have a good sulk SOMEBODY has to make me smile. Isn't that just annoying? But it's a good annoying, the kind of annoying that any and every person should experience often. I just love having friends that can send me into a laughing fit with a word, a glance, and passing touch. You know what else is fun? Making connections with people you don't know and find out they totally watched you do a back flop earlier that day....

 Would you like to know what else I find annoying? Well if you don't wanna know you don't have to read it =P I find it almost annoying that my friends automatically defer to me to lead them.

"What do you guys wanna do?" "I dunno." "Lead us Grandmaster Bourne!"  =.=

But being the natural "Bourne" leader has it's advantages. I get to go where I want to go and get to watch the movie I want to. The hard part is deciding what I want to see.  

That is definitely the worst part. So many choices and permutations that it just makes life so complex. What do I want anyway? Simple. Riches and power untold along with a woman that knows how to make me laugh at any and every turn. Okay okay you caught me. I lied about that... riches and power untold can go to some guy that doesn't have the amazing wife.
Did you think I was going to leave you without zombies? 
Heck no!!! Lately many people have been asking me what kind of music I like. I like many many music. I prefer songs over the bands, I just listen to the sound. Here is one I love. The song is about the foolishness of the youth, the video is about zombies. I'm sorry if you have a week constitution and fail your saving throw.