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I come from a small town, enjoy laughing and being the weird one to help others smile. We should hang out sometime.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Workplace Vocabulary


BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOF'S: Well-off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm.

Monday, October 15, 2012

A hug :-)

Oh my goodness. I just want to run 

I really have this huge urge to go off to Europe. I want to go see, I want to go and do. For somebody who is so used to randomly and rampantly rambling, I am at a loss of words to fully express how I feel as of now. It feels so right for me to go and the timing works rather very wonderfully. Oh gosh. I really need to quit thinking.

Other awesome news in my life? Well... not so much. Though I totally had the most pleasant surprise I've had in a long while, the other day. I was at work (like I always am), just grinding away at the stone, when I just so happened to look up. What to my most pleasant surprise, I saw a friendly face!! Now this face was deep into a debate on some subject with their peers (I do believe the subject was Humanities) and did not notice my advance. That is she did not notice my advance until about three steps into it. I was going to be perfectly content to just walk on up and say my salutations. For her, this was not so. She immediately cried out, "BOURNE!" and proceeded to fly out of her seat and around the tables to get to me, for I was on the other side of the railing. Let me tell you, it's been awhile since I've had a flying hug. One would not think that a wisp of a girl would be able to impact me so much, but I nearly lost my balance when I was hugged. It was so very fine. The mandatory catching up and small talk commenced and I spent two or three minutes more than I should have chatting, but it was well worth it.

   Isn't it so strange how a smiling face can drastically improve your day? How a simple embrace can send your spirit soaring? How all these tiny interactions go on to have a Ripple Effect? I love it.

Thursday, October 4, 2012


Girls. Girls are an unending source of confusion and aches. The worst part is, they are just so cute and irresistible. It's true that I can manage to stay away for awhile, but I can't stop heading back for more punishment.

  Did I mention they're confusing? Definitely.

 Umm... I think that weird feeling is coming back again. You know... the one where I feel like I'm pulling out of a dive in an airplane. Oh yeah... I forgot that none of you have actually done that...
Awkward: adjective Lacking skill or dexterity

Awkward definitely describes a great many things about me. Awkward times I laugh, awkward statements, but most importantly (detrimental) awkward attempts at courting. 

Seriously. The past few days at work I've just been all but falling on my face. 

And now a quote from one of my favorite movies, The Gods Must be Crazy, "...I do want to talk to her. I'll tell her, I'll say "Look, Miss Thompson. I know you think I'm an idiot, but normally I'm quite normal. It's only when I'm in the presence of a lady that I... It's really just an interesting psychological phenomenon. If a man who is susceptible to a type of para-Freudian syndrome like this encounters a nubile female, what happens?"