An oath

Hello again. It's about two in the morning and my body doesn't feel like sleeping. Annoying thing it is, but I guess I have to put up with it..... But at least it has me on here to make a commitment to myself. I figure that if I put this out where anybody and everyone can read it I may do better about sticking with it.

What is so pressing I feel I must pronounce it to the world and simulate peer pressure?

Learning how to drink with a straw?

Taking a bath in Jell-o?  

Joining an anarcho-syndicalist commune?




Discovering why girls are so cute no matter what they do?

Dressing up in tights and prancing around like a fairy?

Stealing food from a hobo?

Walking up to a random scary looking person and giving them a hug?

Though all these would undoubtedly be very entertaining, I won't be doing any of these soon (if at all! I mean girls are just plain mysterious).

No. I will be setting out on a quest in which I will become a hulking midget. Okay... maybe not a midget.... or hulking.... just a sensitive yet well-defined gentleman. I just have been noticing recently how I really haven't done anything much to care for my overall health and strength. Sure I've gone through and lowered my intake and switched to a diet that is highly vegetarian and easier on my body. Sure I do only a little recreational running from time to time now. But none of this is building anything. It is my proposal that... 

     I, Kirk Bourne "Lard" "Chief Cash-money" Phillips, shall heretofore seek to build my brawn and do away with my corpulent self. That I shall build my body into something slimmer and bigger (and hopefully better).

I do realize that it's a little late in swimsuit season to be worrying about this, but I'm not doing it because I care what anybody really thinks. I have never let fear of what people think keep me from taking off my shirt when the situation is correct. I'm doing this because I'm tired of feeling so much of a slob. I realize I'm not that much of a slob, but I just see so much room where I can improve and feel that once I get better I'll enjoy life a tad bit more. Not to mention all you lady things out there will appreciate my rediscovered strength.

You are now blind and scarred for life*

* Photo courtesy of Jaron Harris who is a major beefcake and single