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I come from a small town, enjoy laughing and being the weird one to help others smile. We should hang out sometime.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Updating my life and Zombies

Well hello there my never present and unfaithful readers!!! What do I have in store for you in this post? Fantastic renderings of bacon? Prepubescent samurai anomalies? Accounts of pulchritudinous women so amazing that just looking at them causes normal brain function to stutter to a stop? Well sadly I'll only focus on one of these things....
Not Jacob Black

Jacob Black

 Big scary almost rant aside, I will admit to some startling semblances between us. 
  1. We both are ridiculously good looking
  2. We both have hordes of adoring fans
  3. We both are personal space heaters 
  4. We both have huge muscles (My legs anyone?)
  5. We both have cute hair 
  6. I have a cute smile
What makes me bring this up? No reason. I just felt like posting about this delicious piece of man meat. 
Recently I have begun to become good ( I sincerely hope I'm not being TOO presumptuous in this regard) friends with a couple of girls that I can literally laugh away the hours with. Now these people shall remain anonymous for their safety. But partying up a storm with these two has been a painful process. HOW? 
         A certain one of them has a pointed fascination with my shoelaces and continually attempts to steal them. Both enjoy using me for my wonderful hands. They had heard rumors floating about that I am ridiculously good with massages. I know not how that particular set of rumors had gotten out but whoever started that, I have to say thank you. 
Massaging demanding women has its advantages. These ever so greatful women made my night so wonderful. One massaged my legs while the other doted upon me. Then the amazing one who massaged my legs made pudding. PUDDING!! GELATINOUS DELICIOUSNESS IN A BOWL!! And we all watched "When in Rome" together on a very comfortable couch.

And on the following day one of the girls and I just went up to a park and just talked. It was really crazy that I could talk so much. I really haven't been all that outgoing recently and thats probably why I've been boring them all to tears. 
I LOVE DESSERT!!! It is so delicious and a perfect time to just sit around and enjoy your fantabulous company.

I truly realize I have been lacking in my promise to incorporate zombies into my post. In closing I'd like to leave you with the top ten lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack.
  1. Organize before they rise!
  2. They feel no fear, why should you?
  3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
  4. Blades don't need reloading.
  5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair
  6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
  7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
  8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
  9. No place is safe, only safer.
  10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

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