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I come from a small town, enjoy laughing and being the weird one to help others smile. We should hang out sometime.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


I don't do people so well. 

I find it difficult to be completely open with someone. 

I stumble over words and phrases.

 I mumble.

 I fear what others might think of me.

 I'm afraid of people not liking me.

 I'm afraid of people. 

I don't do well with small groups I don't really know.

I don't do well in large groups.

I afraid to hope.

I hope too much.

I hope for too much.

I invest my heart too much.

 I'm too needy.

 I'm too much of a pushover.

I don't know when to hope.

I'm funny (at least I think so).
I'm fairly easy to get along with.
I love seeing people smile.
I love people laughing.
Hugs are good.

So I think we can all agree that I'm no good with people, regardless of how much I like having them around. Luckily I sometimes get these people in my life that can coax me out of my shell and I can manage to ramble out a few sentences here and there. I can sit around and talk. Not even about anything important, just words coming out about how I might feel about a particular subject and they answer and can actually kind of maybe connect... sort of. It isn't half bad. Most the time I'm usually just content with being around people and listening to what they say. 

I wish I wasn't so prone to giving out my heart and wearing it around on my chest. It betrays me too often. It really hurts when I finally get to the point where I trust someone enough to open up and  then they disappear. I guess it's better that they disappear then, but it'd be nice to have someone I could depend on. Oh well. I really should pick up my feet and keep plodding on, but that can wait. Everyone needs time for a pity party and I'm choosing now for one. Never understood why they call it a party... it's more of the opposite, an antiparty. 

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