So this place has rather just become a place where I just vent. Where I regurgitate my feelings and frustrations. Sucks. I doubt anybody even sees these, but if you do, please disregard my obvious negativity.
I'm so sick of caring. I care about stupid little things which should be pointless. I care too deeply about people. It hurts. A lot. And often. The worst is I'm afraid of telling people what I feel. How can I be afraid of losing somebody that I really have no right to claim? I just feel any time I've ever trusted somebody I've been let down, and that scares me.
It's almost midnight and I'm still waiting for your reply, because I'd rather talk to you than do anything else. But as the day comes to an end, I realize that I'm simply wasting my life, because you haven't replied for hour and it shows in your eyes that you'd rather talk to someone that isn't me.
Maybe. Maybe there's a reason why you forgot about me. Maybe it was the way I was never okay or how my hair was always mess, my eyes were always heavy. Perhaps twas how my thoughts were usually jumbled or other people interested you and you didn't know what to do. It could be how I cared too much. Maybe I still care too much.
I'm so sick of caring. I care about stupid little things which should be pointless. I care too deeply about people. It hurts. A lot. And often. The worst is I'm afraid of telling people what I feel. How can I be afraid of losing somebody that I really have no right to claim? I just feel any time I've ever trusted somebody I've been let down, and that scares me.
Remember when we used to get talks in school about drugs and alcohol and all those other dangerous things that you were supposed to stay away from? Well they never told us about midnights spent with a beautiful girl who makes your heart try and beat out of your chest or her swell smile that warms your insides when you kiss. They said they were protecting us from harmful substances but they failed to warn me about you
It's almost midnight and I'm still waiting for your reply, because I'd rather talk to you than do anything else. But as the day comes to an end, I realize that I'm simply wasting my life, because you haven't replied for hour and it shows in your eyes that you'd rather talk to someone that isn't me.
Maybe. Maybe there's a reason why you forgot about me. Maybe it was the way I was never okay or how my hair was always mess, my eyes were always heavy. Perhaps twas how my thoughts were usually jumbled or other people interested you and you didn't know what to do. It could be how I cared too much. Maybe I still care too much.
I just may be the strangest person you will ever know. I am filled with too many oddities and too few consistencies and I will always lack that spongey filter that should live between brain and mouth. These defining traits, these enduring characteristics, and these fingers crossed in all of it, you will find them irresistible.
No comments:
Post a Comment