Girls

Girls. Girls are a neverending source of confusion and aches. The worst part is, they are just so cute and irresistible. It's true that I can manage to stay away for awhile, but I can't stop heading back for more punishment.

Did I mention they're confusing? Definitely. When you think you have a chance, you really don't. When you don't think they'd even look at you twice, they tend to be thinking about kissing you. And when you think you know if they like you, they banish you to the friendzone or toss you out. And when I say you, I really mean me. 

  Oh yeah... then there's that entire thing when they find you attractive. Down below are things personally heard and directed towards me. 

"I feel I could talk to you about anything, ask you to dance in the rain with me or just go wander in a forest of aspen trees. I could look at the stars with you, and not say anything at all because I know you see the value in silence. But I could also tell you all the things I believe, what I wonder about the universe, and know that you wonder about some of them too. I feel like if I could make you laugh, it would be one of the best sounds in the world. I want to know you. As you are. Without you feeling I expect anything other than you. I feel like you would understand what it's like to hide so much, hiding when something is wrong, and you don't know what, but you just smile and laugh with people because you know it's something you can't exactly say in words."

"You're beautiful"
"You're handsome."

"you're seriously an awesome guy."

"ur a babe"

"You have it all. Swagger. Personality. Witty. Funny. handsome. You just rock at life."
"You have one sexy smile."
"Your eyes are the best I've seen."

What really gets me though, is if even a quarter of these things were true, why can't I ever manage to make anything last? To work out? To manage to be liked back in the same way? Why must it always turn out I'm just some booty call, the fallback? Oh yeah, and that girl I completely crush on and try to let know how I feel? I may as well be dead because I'm a nice guy. I've figure it out. Nice guys make great husband material, great friend material, but they're not what girls need now.

My (least) favorite part about this irony in being "attractive"? That girl I've crushed on forever doesn't realize it's her. I've been friend zoned and I don't see me getting out of it,because if I tried to exit it and succeed, I would probably fail. Failure would mean that I get out of the friend zone, but also told (kindly) to exit her life.

Oh yeah... and girls that I like and probably have a chance to do well with, they're hours away now. That's life.