Sometimes life just gets you down. Everything will be going alright and then, suddenly at night, you can be freight trained by depression. That's alright. Each night has a dawn. If we never experienced sadness, how could we experience joy? They are yin and yang. This just really hit me hard just recently. Everything is fine, I just found myself loathing my existence. I had such a feeling of futility, that no matter what I do it never matters. It's completely ridiculous thought process (or lack thereof), but I found myself there. Then there are the little things, the little victories. Ran into a friend at the store and he remarked on how I looked better, skinnier. Later on I gave myself a good looking at in the mirror and you can bet your boots that I was looking better. It really wasn't much, but I felt better. Knowing that all this work I've been putting into myself has been paying off, that's great. I feel so much more free now that I've stopped trying to impress everyone else, and just work on my own opinion of myself. I'm nowhere close to where I want to be, but I've certainly jumped from where I started.